My Story

When I had my first spiritual awakening in my teenage years I had nobody to talk to. I didn't know anyone who knew about spiritual experiences and could understand me.

My mind went silent and filled the whole space around me. It was a new dimension, the real infinite me. I saw how everything around me was objective, we all took ourselves far too seriously and that caused great suffering. My heart was expanding with love and I felt utterly complete and at ease. 

I was meant to go to school and I remember being on the bus with everyone being stressed out about things that didn't matter. I was feeling like the odd one out, yet the love and bliss in my heart seemed more than enough. I knew this place from before and I was so happy to reconnect with it.

The separation. 

Something had changed, a large part of me felt one and at peace, whole and complete. Sweet elixir of Divine Bliss was pouring from the space beyond and healing me deeply. 

What had happened could not be undone. There was a fire burning in me for liberation and it wouldn't die out until the whole picture was complete and clear!

The years to come were the darkest moments of my life and I felt like I had lost my connection to source. I was going through depression and suicide; I couldn't stop eating and diets weren't helping either. What's worse is I was in a relationship that caused me a lot of pain and I could not talk about it or do anything about it. I felt like I was dying inside and spiralling down with binge eating, alcohol, drugs. I hit a rock bottom. I knew it wasn't going to get better by itself. 

And then I discovered the 12 Steps for Recovery from Addiction. I felt some hope and saw light at the end of the tunnel. The process of recovery was helping me accept my spiritual experiences, my emotions and was starting to dig in deep into the real cause of the issues I had in life. I saw how I just couldn't help myself and I didn't know another way. I was also going through layers and layers of emotions I didn't want to feel and memories I wanted to forget. 

I understood what trauma is. And it wasn't just the big significant events that left a painful trace but even more so the small ones that made me cringe inside, wanting to shrink, run away and hide. The healing power of love became a real companion. Curled up on the sofa, sitting with my inner child, nurturing her like never before. I became painfully aware of the human need to be loved. A need buried deep down, that was crying itself out. 

I knew that nothing could numb this pain any more. No amount of substance, person or a thing could replace this love. 

A real love for myself. 

Unconditional, streaming endlessly and abundantly from source. Through the connection with my Heart, Higher Self, Source, God, whatever you may call it. I felt a strong calling to go to India. Little did I know that I will be living there for almost a year, swept off my feet by the high vibrations of bliss. The spiritual bliss seemed to hit my body at its weakest points. It was penetrating through my lower back and spine, my womb and my heart. Sometimes in physical pain, I knew that the light was dissolving layers and layers of contractions - shame and guilt, self hatred, repression and rejection, misplaced energies; suppressed desires, ancestral traumas. 

As the conditioning was dissolving, I was regaining my power back. Clear, intuitive, discerning, liberating. I had never felt so empowered and wild in my body. More alive than ever, with a purpose and a direction I was embodying a significant and potent vision for the future.

As the years went on and I was already building a new life back in London, the spiritual connection I once knew just wasn't there any more. 

The separation. 

It had come back. 

The agonising feeling of separation from God, love, life and other human beings.

Then one day when I went to visit my partner, I found a book with a blissful woman on the cover. It was called Lovebliss by Jan Esmann. What an amusing title, someone actually knew about love-bliss? I opened the pages and my eyes landed on a paragraph about the dark night of the soul. That was written about me! I broke into tears as I realised I had found the solution. 

I learnt that our nervous system and energy centres were in a contracted state, and that caused the sense of separation. That was the contracted identity we were experiencing ourselves to be. There was a certain type of Unity Consciousness energy that was able to dissolve the separation. That led to Enlightenment and was the freedom I was looking for. 

I devoted myself to it and felt the sweet bliss running through my body. I felt like melting into the floor and the walls of the room and my heart was one with all! I went through a process of deep expansion and allowing the energy to work on the nervous system. Living in Unity with all of life was utterly euphoric and exhilarating, yet solid and grounded. I continued meditating until the energy opened up my crown chakra fully and merged with Unity Consciousness (Enlightenment). 

The separation. 

It was over. 

Forever. 

I was crying in bliss and relief all at the same time. Enlightenment is irreversible. Deep gratitude and humility were in my heart.

The little girl's big calling for spirituality. She knew there was something greater and she knew she could have it! The absolute peak and climax of the human experience. I was rejoicing in sublimed bliss, mesmerised by the power of the enlightening experience.

Not long after, the energy of love and unity started to overflow from my being and began to heal other people. In its intelligence, it would diagnose the broken links in the system and repair them. It's healing power of love was relaxing people's nervous system, healing trauma and giving profound spiritual experiences. I worked with people on all levels of being, bursting through limiting beliefs and releasing the trapped energy in the cells of their bodies. Ancestral lineages were being repaired. Clearing blocks and awakening new energy, the transmissions worked towards expanding the consciousness into liberation and full enlightenment. 

I started working with people and their accounts were remarkable. I witnessed spiritual awakenings, trauma release, empowerment. Relationships were being repaired and love was blossoming again. New confidence was shining through in people’s eyes and they were making empowered decisions in their lives. Some connected with parts of their body in a way they never did before and started honouring and respecting themselves deeply. Business were thriving. The energy transmissions and the work I was doing with people to empower them was changing lives. 

This has inspired me to continue developing and sharing my work.

All this is for you. All that I have learnt on my journey I dedicate to you.

In honour and service to your liberation!